I often say that I could not imagine being a teenager in these times. The amount of pressure our teens are facing today, we never dealt with. They have all this social media to contend with and it has now become more important what strangers think of him, than what WE his family thinks. The Internet although a helpful tool in many ways is robbing our children of their innocence. They are being exposed to things that they may not be ready to handle. Of course as parents it is our job to stay ontop of the situation and reinforce the great qualities our children possess within.
I am the single mother of two boys ages 16 & 9. My 9 year old is so conscientious and intuitive to people's needs. While my 16 year old at times can be fun and energetic, but often times distant and somewhat brooding.
Now let me just say prior to being a difficult teenager I had a wonderful little boy helpful, great student in a gifted program graduated elementary a straight A student there was not a prouder mother than I. Then middle school happened, and I went from a star student to a student whose grades got progressively worse with each school year. By the grace of God he graduated middle school. I don't know what happened to him. He didn't hangout, it's like he just shut down. I talked to him, I prayed for him, with him, over him. I began to question my parenting skills what had "I" done to change my child. I soul searched, I asked him if it was his dad (who refuses to have contact with my boys) did he want me try and reach out to him? Everything was always fine, or he didn't know how to explain it.
Now he is in HS with dreams of playing professional basketball the dream of many young teenage boys. I always tell my son he can be anything he puts his mind to. I support his dream and often stress the importance of a backup plan. He has a great deep voice and would make a great radio announcer.
My son is extremely intelligent when you speak to him, yet recently doesn't find it necessary to apply himself in school. I explain that he cannot realize his dream without an education. He is becoming defiant, as long as he gets to do what he wants he's fine, but the moment you require him to perform his chores, well the war has begun. He goes to church, we made a deal for every other Sunday. He was even part of the mentoring program; at the time I explained to the deacon that my son would be a hard nut to crack, and he was and is.
We do have good conversation from time to time, I try my best to be open and honest with him, so that he will do the same in return. When it's good its great, but when it's bad it's bad. I find that I have spoken to him in ways that my own mother NEVER did to me. I often walk away pray and then apologize, for those things that I have said in anger or not the seeds I want to sow over my sons life.
That's it for today!
"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."
Proverbs 22:6 (KJV)
